phobia :(

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1 days to go.. I'm still biting my books and scered of the exam would kill me soon

sigh.. nobody nothing can help me. but only the way is burning the midnight oil

hmmm.. another thing I worry about is the allodoxaphobia I will face soon after exam

that is Choice Phobie Disorder, fear of opinions

I quite hate to decide anything or pick some choices

Just now I felt that I was in the moment of  ambiguous relationship

Maybe, we haven't know each other deeply and the time we stick along is not too long

it means that relationship is still 'fresh' and simple

but once choosing to be together, then it would be another sad case.

I dwn to refuse or even hear or see the queation and requestment

as I dwnt to lose the secial ambiguous friendship with someone

and our friendship will last longer

I know I'm greedy and selfish

by the way this is the best solution ever

Otherwise I quit and should'nt be so close with..

Hopefully that I have expected wrongly and all these won't be happened

And keep going on without 'appearance of sad case'


p/s No matter what happen I should responsible to it as it's my false.
I did do wrongly in the beginning..
Am I greedy to have a friend that will stay along and without any 'blossom', further relationsip?
I'm dreaming maybe :)

I ain't going to hurt anybody instead hoping that all of you will be happy even if no me
Nope.. It should be that I'm not important at all, only I feel so and too 'valued' myself towards you all
Actually is I need you rather than you need me.. :)

Feeling sad and depressed again.

having a sudden thought that wanna tell you what's my feeling now

I can imagine that only 2 result:

I'm guessing wrongly and embarrased, then our relationship will go on

OR

That's true. Apologising to each other. Having a decision and the end. Also I will feel uncomfortable for a moment

Scared, really.. and I'm sorry to you

Whatever it will be. You must be happy forever. I wish to you :)


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